Please don't hire me! I'm not the photographer for you.

Well I'm off on another photographic amazing wedding adventure at the Breakers 5 star hotel in Palm Beach Florida so I thought I'd get the blog post out of the way this week with a thought on differentiation. I read a lot of posts on social media of other photographers telling other photographers they aren't photographers. This to me seems like a waste of time and exposes their clients to negativity. Who wants to hear that? Not me. Probably not your clients either. Why not take the opportunity to tell your clients how you are different and better instead of badmouthing others or lamenting? 
This week I thought I'd share a post I created after a potential client went with a "newer" photographer offering "more stuff" for less money. I hope you find this humorous take informative and not negative. Type to you after this 14 hour day! 

(this is just the entrance to the hotel)

Please don't hire me! I'm not the photographer for you.

I'm not the kind of photographer that's easy to deal with.

I ask a bunch of questions all the time about what you want. I'll make timelines and backup plans just in case. Who cares? I even irritate the locations by going there before the shoot to make sure I know what I'm going to do, my gear works there, where the best locations are, if they have any rules I have to follow, and to see how long the drive time is. I'll make sure I have a good idea of exactly what you are looking for and being asked all those questions is irritating, I know.

Another reason you shouldn't hire me is that I'm not the cheapest. It's annoying when photographers pay taxes, and anticipate the cost of doing business, get insurance for the gear and liability. That's so unnecessary. I also buy expensive software to perfect the images. Please don't hire me! I will absolutely charge you for the level of service I bring. What's more my prints cost more because they are on archival paper that holds color forever. You should definitely go with another photographer that is cheaper.

You REALLY shouldn't hire me because I finish all my images. I know you don't care what the images look like. You don't care if they have a good color balance and density. You probably don't even know what that means, right? I know you don't want a photographer that looks at every image make sure they are awesome. You just want the jpgs straight out of the camera on a DVD, I know that... You shouldn't hire me. I stink at that.

In closing, dear potential customer... PLEASE DON'T HIRE ME. I care way too much. I do way more work than you want. I'm not the cheapest and I bother you asking how to make you happy way too much.

If you still need someone I can look on Craig's list for you or ask some of my friends with nice cameras.

Thank you for understanding.

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